christa assad

From dust to dust…I know that death is a part of life, but why do we have to accept premature deaths as a normal part of daily life? I ask this because yesterday I lost another close friend to unfair circumstances. Tommy Hackenson, my childhood pal, died after a six or seven year struggle with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I had lost track of Tommy after highschool. His parents lived next-door to my grandmother, and growing up  I spent a week or so each summer at “Grammy’s house” - the highlight being spending time with Tommy. I admit that I had a huge crush on him (my very first crush!) and so I spent an awful lot of time hanging out on the back porch, waiting to see him come whistling along with his baseball mitt in hand. We swam in his pool, played freeze-tag, and stayed out late watching for the family of skunks that took shelter in my Grammy’s garage. My favorite Tommy-memory is the time when he spooked my sister, cousins and me by dragging a Styro-foam cup on a fishing line across our yard one night. We girls were on our nightly “skunk watch”, and had no idea Tommy was hiding in the bushes, rigging up his prank. When that glowing bit of white hopped along through the grass, the five of us went shrieking into the house in terror - only to hear the howls of Tommy’s laughter coming from a nearby rustling hedge. That story has become Assad/Salay family legend! Years later, I heard from my sister that she’d caught sight of a now unrecognizable Tommy — in a wheel-chair, head hung to one side, looking much older than his 30-something years. I froze in fear. Then I sprung to action, starting with a timid letter to get back in touch, then numerous care-packages and visits to see Tommy. He welcomed my sudden re-appearance into his life, and we began a slow but steady form of communication. You see, by the time I got to Tommy he could barely talk. He was bed-ridden with full-time care, and unable to move his own body, with the exception of his right hand (sort of) and his mouth (kind of). Understanding his speech took a lot of patience and effort, but I was hopeful. Every time I visited my family in Pennsylvania, I went to see Tommy - sitting by his bed and waiting for the words to form. His memory and brain were fine, but the problem with MS is that the lines of communication between the brain, nervous system and body are greatly hindered. I’m not an expert but you can find a lot of information on this disease at:  http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/whatisms.html .  I wish I could have had more time with Tommy before he died, but I am grateful for the gift he gave me. He taught me to cherish the days, the minutes we have on this earth, for life is fleeting. Tommy’s parents tell me that he never once complained throughout the entire time he fought this horrible illness. He quietly lost control of his body, and accepted his fate with dignity. I will never forget the person he was before he got sick: a firefighter, a husband, a brother and son, and my very first crush. Tommy, fly free!